Hi good
people, you are the reason I keep writing. Every smile, text message, comment
on my post keeps me motivated. I feel so good to have friends like you. Thank
you, I owe you so much darlings.
Have you been well?
You realize I have not written in a while, I have not been idle though. Lately I have
acquired myself a new part time job. That of an events organizer. My first event
is on Sunday the 13th, hahaha nothing big, it’s a get together with
my beloved cousins. It does count. Its an event, yes? No? It will be everything
to write home about and the beginning of great things to come. Hence the
silence. I have also been reading much, ok lets just put it as ; I have gone
back to reading after a two year break, we all know why. The reading culture is
also trickling down to lil man. Ooh he loves his cartoon books and every
picture in the cartoon book has a name; Yetch. I also don’t get it, but hey, is
that Yetch?!
On Sunday the
previous weekend I had quite a lazy day. I had taken 3 cans of redds on
Saturday night. Yes 3 cans of the damn mild thing gives me a whole 24hrs of
laziness. Hahaha if you know me well, then this is funny but Its okey. I am getting
used to the term “low voltage.” I also don’t believe it, but what is it I refused to tell you again? 3
cans of redds will set a secret free!!
Back to Sunday and I was supposed to join my friends for a baby shower at 2pm. I wake up looked at the time, it was 2.15. I registered it was AM, I struggle to turn my head and look up, the light from the window is blinding. Ooh Shyeettt!! Its PM. What was more disappointing was to imagine that I was less than 20 hours away from a Monday. I chose to skip the baby shower, tactfully. I said someone else was hangied and needed my care. I am a part time hangover nurse too you know. I jumped ship successfully. At around 5.30pm I remembered we had less that two units of power.
Those are very dangerous, you have to shower with caution, iron on low voltage (love this phrase) and it makes you feel like you can watch your t.v on half screen, while the other half saves power. I was not going to torture myself in that manner so I was off to the top up kiosk. Along the way, realized that I needed to use the services of an ATM. As usual, there was a long queue. It got to my turn, and the screen displays the “ I am out of service, got to the nearest blah blah “ statement. I have to pick a mat to the near one, (don’t give me that look, I could walk if I wanted but I cant, and it was late. Ok damit!! There is only one ATM near me).
I got there and there is another queue, three machines in total. Two were experiencing that time of the month so they were, like; “don’t touch me”. There were five people ahead of me and guy number three is the impatient type. You could tell from the way he stood, how frequently he changed his posture,and how he clicked after every minute. He was a tad bit annoying. But that was just the beginning. It was getting dark outside and the queue was growing long, my silent prayer was that the machine does not go all moody when it is my turn. My prayer was interrupted by an arrogantly loud Nigerian song emanating from an obviously China made device. “Halo, ndio natoa, relax”. It was the impatient man. He sounded like he needed to pay a bad dept, urgently before it became worse.
After the call he punched his keyboard like a teenager; fast and furious. Another call came in, he answered it arrogantly and earned himself some selfish looks. An expectant lady walked into the ATM lobby and she seemed quite tired. It was now Mr. Restless’ turn, the expectant lady asked if she can kindly go ahead of him. I did not expect him to be a gentleman but I gave him the benefit of doubt which he definitely did not deserve. “Niko na haraka, nangojewa!!” (Am in a hurry, I am being waited for). The lady stepped back and the next person on line allowed her a slot. As she stood there frustrated, Karma arrived to her rescue.
Mr. Arrogant and Impatient slotted in his card, he was restless and punched in his pin with so much energy. He hit the “correct” key like he meant to accept for two people. As he waited, he rhythmically but annoyingly tapped his fingers on the ATM’s top surface. That machine was so male, it hated being nagged. “ I am out of service.” I almost burst out laughing when I saw this but I remembered I was still in the queue. He got a bit annoyed, picked the card and slotted it in again. Now clicking after punching every numeral of his pin. This one took a bit longer, he sighed, his hopes rose. His phone rung again. I think that ring tone was too loud it scared away the machine. It timed out the transaction and stuck out the card like a tongue sticks out after you've take bangbang chilie crisps. He got so frustrated and hit the ATM keys with his fist.
The people in the queue were now starting to murmur. One drunk guy shouted, “ kama huna pesa toka hapo!” (take your broke ass home), that is exactly what he meant. It was his unspoken J. I was smiling in my heart and no I am no sadist. Who refuses to excuse an expectant lady? Ok this man just tried, I assure you it does not end well.
Back to Sunday and I was supposed to join my friends for a baby shower at 2pm. I wake up looked at the time, it was 2.15. I registered it was AM, I struggle to turn my head and look up, the light from the window is blinding. Ooh Shyeettt!! Its PM. What was more disappointing was to imagine that I was less than 20 hours away from a Monday. I chose to skip the baby shower, tactfully. I said someone else was hangied and needed my care. I am a part time hangover nurse too you know. I jumped ship successfully. At around 5.30pm I remembered we had less that two units of power.
Those are very dangerous, you have to shower with caution, iron on low voltage (love this phrase) and it makes you feel like you can watch your t.v on half screen, while the other half saves power. I was not going to torture myself in that manner so I was off to the top up kiosk. Along the way, realized that I needed to use the services of an ATM. As usual, there was a long queue. It got to my turn, and the screen displays the “ I am out of service, got to the nearest blah blah “ statement. I have to pick a mat to the near one, (don’t give me that look, I could walk if I wanted but I cant, and it was late. Ok damit!! There is only one ATM near me).
I got there and there is another queue, three machines in total. Two were experiencing that time of the month so they were, like; “don’t touch me”. There were five people ahead of me and guy number three is the impatient type. You could tell from the way he stood, how frequently he changed his posture,and how he clicked after every minute. He was a tad bit annoying. But that was just the beginning. It was getting dark outside and the queue was growing long, my silent prayer was that the machine does not go all moody when it is my turn. My prayer was interrupted by an arrogantly loud Nigerian song emanating from an obviously China made device. “Halo, ndio natoa, relax”. It was the impatient man. He sounded like he needed to pay a bad dept, urgently before it became worse.
After the call he punched his keyboard like a teenager; fast and furious. Another call came in, he answered it arrogantly and earned himself some selfish looks. An expectant lady walked into the ATM lobby and she seemed quite tired. It was now Mr. Restless’ turn, the expectant lady asked if she can kindly go ahead of him. I did not expect him to be a gentleman but I gave him the benefit of doubt which he definitely did not deserve. “Niko na haraka, nangojewa!!” (Am in a hurry, I am being waited for). The lady stepped back and the next person on line allowed her a slot. As she stood there frustrated, Karma arrived to her rescue.
Mr. Arrogant and Impatient slotted in his card, he was restless and punched in his pin with so much energy. He hit the “correct” key like he meant to accept for two people. As he waited, he rhythmically but annoyingly tapped his fingers on the ATM’s top surface. That machine was so male, it hated being nagged. “ I am out of service.” I almost burst out laughing when I saw this but I remembered I was still in the queue. He got a bit annoyed, picked the card and slotted it in again. Now clicking after punching every numeral of his pin. This one took a bit longer, he sighed, his hopes rose. His phone rung again. I think that ring tone was too loud it scared away the machine. It timed out the transaction and stuck out the card like a tongue sticks out after you've take bangbang chilie crisps. He got so frustrated and hit the ATM keys with his fist.
The people in the queue were now starting to murmur. One drunk guy shouted, “ kama huna pesa toka hapo!” (take your broke ass home), that is exactly what he meant. It was his unspoken J. I was smiling in my heart and no I am no sadist. Who refuses to excuse an expectant lady? Ok this man just tried, I assure you it does not end well.
I remembered, I was
in the same queue, after two people, it would be me, but Id be ready to excuse
ten pregnant ladies. Well, as long as
they do not come in a group. I think that guy was the Kenyan Yahaya. He picked
up his phone and said, he is on his way with the money and they should stop calling him after every two minutes. He tried one more time amidst the
oblivion of the people waiting. This time everybody was throwing harsh words
all over, but dint seem to care until the ATM told him to contact the card center. Then his face was pale, he picked his card and left. Poor Yahaya, I thought,
what was he going to tell his debtors? I looked up to catch the expectant lady
pocketing her cash, ooh the machine was working. The guy in front of me dispensed, and it was my turn. I prayed hard for Karma not to act now, you know
I had laughed at Yahaya, but Karma knows Id excuse an expectant lady any
time, even if it was her J. So I got my cash.
On my way home, I sat
just near the door. Next to me was a middle aged guy who was telling his seat
mate about how he has fallen in love with a gold digger. I am not so good at
eves dropping but this one I had to. He said the woman was a beauty. She was as
adventurous as Eve Dsouza while shooting Magical Kenya’s episodes. She wanted
to travel all over Kenya and make you fall in love in different places. The
problem was that she was broke and willing to do nothing about it but milk the
guy. So the friend warned by his this guy sited next to me, “Be ware of such
ladies, especially the light skinned ones, (offended look) they will literary milk you. All you'll hear
is Chrr!!, Chrrr!! Chrrr!! As the milk gets into a bucket and by the time its
drops, ul be alone my friend.” The adviser sighed. I guess he had just shared his
last nugget of wisdom. “Suntom mwisho, Sunton” I heard the conductor shout. Oooh
crap!! I had passed my stage, I was so much into the “ Chrr!! Chrrr!! That I did
not realise its my time to Chrrr!! out of the mat.
 |
| Chrrr!!! |
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