29 Lessons I Have Learnt in the Last two Years.

Photo Credit; Here

Happy new year. It may be late for you but for me it actually feels so new now more than ever.

I began the year with a countdown to my birthday which was special because the last day of the job I have done the last two years.

After this post in which I had lost all hope, I sat down and decided to go back to the drawing board. I wanted to take a whole new direction career wise but my mentor could not hear none of it. I wanted to stop being mentored and just be let to make decisions that I thought were right for me but thank God for calm people in this world.

I came back to my senses when this question "so what is the short term plan? Because what you have is good but long term." was thrown at me. These kind of people are a bit annoying at such moments, and so I made two short term plans both of which had persistence as the main ingredient. Eventually after hard work, persistence like that of the proverbial widow and prayer without ceasing, it paid off. I couldn't hold my tears when I got the positive news. I was elated, it is not much but the joy of seeing something you have worked so hard for succeeds is always amazing.


There are a few lesson I have picked along the way and I will share them with you below. Some will make sense while some, well let us just say people have different perspectives in life.

1. In life, you need a mentor and as hard as it may seem to always ask the opinion of someone over something concerning your life, if you want to grow, you cannot avoid this.

2. Know when to walk away; not all situations have a positive side.

3. If it is draining you, it is time to make a change.

4. Your network is your net worth. Make friends at every opportunity you get.

5. Celebrate small victories but do not get comfortable in them, aim higher after every step.

6. Positive energy bounces back to you in equal measure but not necessarily same speed, give it either way.

7. Depersonalize failure ; things do not always go as planned and it has nothing to do with you. Failure is failure and so is success, it is not about certain people, it is about situations.

8. Getting a passion and going after it is a great thing. It is mind occupying and at the same time it lets you compete with yourself. The eventual result is growth as you achieve certain personal goals.

9. Things happen the way they do for a reason but that should not make us resign to fate, instead make the right choices with the end in mind.

10. Always have the end in mind and work out the plan to get there. Without the end, we are heading nowhere.

11. Read wide. I am not the best of readers but I try and I can tell you that reading makes you see the world through a different window.

12. Do not be afraid to shine.

13. Work out, It makes you feel good about yourself even.

14. Believe in the beauty of your dreams. If you can not see how beautiful your future is, you cannot convince the world to see it and you cannot work towards it. Something has to motivate you and that thing is a mental picture of what you want to be like, to have or to own in the future.

15. To thy own self ; be true.

16. If it involves pleasing people , do it but not for long because it will take away your self esteem.

17. If what you do is all you have at that particular time, love it, do it with passion. Working from a point of love is essential, it makes you happy. Happy people deliver good results. The question that you will always be asked is; how do you do it? Even if you say it is love, people will not  understand.

18. Try new things, you never know what new talent you may discover.

19. Keep time, it makes you look organised even if you are not. :)

20. Do not hate the player nor the game, hate the fact that there is nothing you are doing about it and change that.

21. Get a system to deal with anger and disappointments. Do not let it weigh you down, neither let them make you negatively affect those around you.

22. Laugh, it heals wounds.

23. Make friends across all age brackets, older people will give you wisdom, children will ask you thought provoking questions, young people will make you realize that life is never that serious and your age mates should challenge you.

24. Forgive people, yourself included.

25. At any given time , whatever you do, give your best , not for anything but so that you can leave a legacy. Let it be said, "there once worked a girl here who gave her best" about you.

26. If boiling an ocean is what you have to do to earn a living, do it. Do what you have to do to stay relevant. It is a fast paced world, if you slow down or get too comfortable. you will soon be obsolete. Remember to never sink in your ocean.

27.Never forget the days of your humble beginnings, let them inspire you to greater heights.

28. It is better to be peaceful than to be right. This is the most important lesson.

29. Last but not least, commit all your plans to God and he will make your path straight.

I Hit Rock Bottom While Aiming for the Sky.

Focus is when you put all your energy, thoughts, hopes and aspirations in something you believe in. When you focus, you hardly hear the wind pass. You concentrate, you get immersed, lost and suddenly you are defining a new self. When you believing in something so much, you start envisioning yourself in it, with it or being it. You lose yourself.

This has been me the last two to three months. I wanted this new job position so much. I chased managers across the corridors and asked leading questions. I knew the positions were opening but I dint know when and so I kept tabs on every new change. 

When you want to find a husband, you put yourself out there. It is the same thing with finding a job. I was out there more than It is needed. :)

People started to notice me, I took part in almost all group activities, heck I even anchored the news on the t.v channel at our workplace. Yes we have t.v channel . That was a good night, that night I was on air. I was almost a celebrity overnight, people poured out hearty congratulations as others were amazed that I had the courage to do that. 

The thing is, I am told I have a misleading face. People meet me and think I am uptight and serious,probably even boring but I think they are the ones who have a problem because after sometime they actually admit it " I never knew you were this talkative, or funny or whatever else adjectives they feel like using to describe my happy self. I am used to being profiled by the seriousness on my face and I keep wondering, should I go smiling around like a smiling machine or what do they exactly mean when the say " You are too serous"?

The job positions opened up and you can bet I was first to drop in my application. Five minutes after a communication was sent that the vacancies were open, candidate number one was already waiting. I did a lot of following up weeks later to  ensure that it had actually been received. On the weekend before the interview, I locked my self indoors and read manuals and websites. I was more prepared than was required as I realized during the interview because that was the first time I had been in front of a panel that nodded when I talked and one that I actually got to interview a little because I felt like they dint pose a challenge big enough for me . They were done; I actually got myself asking "Is that all?" Where was I to take all this information on Forex, FDIs, Dispora banking and all those things? I dint want to use the next time, I dint see a next time. I walked out of that room feeling proud of myself.  

Meet the brand ambassador for the night :)
Behind that smile were tears that needed to flow.

 A week later, I was selected among other people to be a brand ambassador for the new brand. It was a great feeling, a premonition of better things to come. The wait for my interview results was painful because doubt would creep in now and then. But I held on to my faith. Word on the corridors was that I was second in ranking. My competition must have been born way earlier than I was because the only thing she had above me was experience. I was happy because number two counts too. But time went and there was no communication and finally it dawned on me that the only place to be is at the top. Average does not cut it. I was not ready for such news. I broke down. It was the day were to hold the event where I doing the brand ambassador roles. I was not happy. Behind my smile were tears that could occasionally make me visit the washrooms more often than normal. I wanted to scream and curse. I wanted to hate whom ever took my job. I was not prepared for failure. I hit rock bottom .

This post comes from a point of pain. A point where self acceptance is needed but there is not enough to give. But the pen takes away  my pain in a way I cannot explain. So I thought about; it not conclusive thoughts. They were scattered all over and they dint even care to gather and make sense. I decided to write about it. 

Because in life no situation is unique to you. Some one must have gone through the same, another may need to hear that someone like you can actually fail. There maybe one wondering why she is alone in failure. Here is to those who have aimed for the sky and fallen for the stars, we have to keep trying, better still, change strategy but we must get what we want because we deserve the best. 

This is beside the point but hey, I googled the meaning of Mihas, and this is what I found: http://www.meaninglike.com/what-does-name-stand-for/mihas timely, right?

Cheers!

Leap over your fears this year.

 I cannot say happy new year now, you will think I have just woken up from a dream. Though I have, and now am awake alive, alert and enthusiastic.

 In this life of mine, I have seen people leap into successful futures by deciding to risk all they have, and I have seen people succumb to fear in the assumption that its is safer that way. Eventually, they  end up as victims of normalcy. I have observed how a full days activities can sum up that life is simply a series of choices made and consequences brought by each one of them.

We are scared of the future so much that we choose to live in fear and anxiety and the present life passes us as we try to protect ourselves of any dangers.
We do not chase our dreams for we are afraid that we do not have it all figured out. We choose to wait as other people race past us and plunge into the future of their dreams.

If you want something all figured out, then you are not living, you are simply existing. Life has no manual, its an adventure, tomorrow is unknown and the minute you try making it known, first you are mostly wrong and so you will strive to prove that you were right by trying to live by your set plans and two, you will have nothing out of the ordinary and the predictable. It is in such instances that you will end up finishing with the phrase "life is so boring." No its not, that's not life, that is existence and its  passive. Its is getting ready to do something that will be done by others and not you. Plan and execute, otherwise you are not planning you are simply wishing. Wishes are procrastinated plans backed with no effort at all.

We all have passions that we are meant to discover, follow and live a fulfilled life then die empty. But instead, we recognize our dreams, share them with people and allow them to crush our own dreams. We give too much airplay for the haters and dream crusher that we end up with dampened spirits. These people mean well for us, they are protecting us form the unknown danger. The have seen others go down that road and fail. They are miserable failures too and misery needs company. You can choose to sit miserable with them and be safe or soldier on.
 If  you choose to walk on, you most probably walk alone. Enjoy your own company, this is your journey. The dream crushers are meant to make us live a normal life.  But by whose standards, is my question. Who sets what is normal? I want to meet that person and let him or her know that there are group of people he did not include in his sample of the population to survey. Its the weird people, the ambitious people, the go getters, the dreamers, the risk takers and the wild at heart. I want to let that person know that normal is too mainstream.


This year, I want to inspire someone to be phenomenal. To be the best version of themselves. There will never be another you. If for that reason you cant be the best you, then you are failing yourself.  I want to keep only the friends who can push their limits beyond reasonable doubt. I want to redefine reasonable. I want people who can ask me to bungee jump without a twitch of a muscle and really mean what they say. Because I am totally afraid of heights but I want to push my limits.  I do not want safety. I want danger because I want to be a fearless influencer. 

Go ahead, leap over your fears and make that decision. The world does not need to agree with you, its your dream not theirs.

Dear son,

This is my last working day before I become a mum to a one year old boy. On Monday at exactly 2.15pm, you will be one. I still don’t know what I will do at that very moment. I will not come to work that Monday. I want us to spend the day together, celebrate, thank God and reminisce.

You have been my greatest blessing. I find life so much interesting since you arrived. I cannot be mad for long, I have all the reasons to smile. You have mastered the art of walking. Congratulations. You took your first steps two weeks ago. Yesterday night I saw you walk. This morning I was awed when you brought me dad’s cup to the kitchen after breakfast. Son you made me cry, you are so courageous and responsible. Its even cuter how you lose balance at some point, you fall, look up and just smile. You have made realize, life is easier when we are happy. We have to be happy!

I am still not sure what I don’t want to write in this letter, for I want to write everything. I like how you wake up in such high spirits at the break of dawn. You call dad, bab (not sure who between us is bab) then mama. You make my daily hustle worth to the last bit. I really do not like leaving for work without saying goodbye. This was the first verb that you mastered so well with the action too “babaee” then you wave with your tiny right hand. I wake up for this moment, I have happy days when you escort me to the gate and say babaeee. You don’t know how much I struggle with the thought of calling in sick just to spend a day with you giggling by my side all day.

Be strong and of good courage everyday of your forth coming years. Eat life with a big spoon. Squeeze all the joy you can out of this life.

 Enjoy all the things you perceive as finer in life at every stage. Serve God with your heart and soul. Give your life a Godly propose.

 Respect women of all ages and treat them like princesses; they will treat you like the prince you are. Respect older men and inspire younger ones, do not lose yourself to age mates, rather live your life like you do not require their validation.

 Get a hobby and a make it a talent. Follow it, it will take you to places you never knew you would get to. I will be your biggest fan, always. (Am already a fan of you dancing to the Sadolin ad)

Do not be afraid to fall in love, but fall only for a person who is worth the trouble. Do not wait for someone to validate your dreams, mum says they are valid.

Happy 1st birthday Son!!  

Chicken Noddle Soup

 

I always intend to blog on Mondays, so that I can tell stories of the weekend while they are still smoking, but Mondays don’t allow much of free minutes leave alone an hour to bring all the thoughts alive. There are Monday blues, there are Monday mood swings, there is the hangie then there is the real job.

Here I am now. The weekend was great to say the least. I rested a lot, and watched lil man take his first step. Did you hear that?  The lil Champ is walking….two steps then he rests for two hours and takes another two or three and we laugh at how much fun walking is. Wow!! So that was my weekend. I made my hair too. This is where the story lies.

Before we start; Remmy (the convict, i hate the description though) sent me a text this morning.
"Swiry, yaani you've not heard of someone who is moving out, in your hood? You really don't want us to be neibbaz, ama? xema i dont botha u xana". I continued with my early morning bus ride nap immediately after reading it. She has guts!! 

In other also very irrelevant news, I saw a nun struggling for a matatu yesterday evening; it was almost raining. Respect the hustle!!

Where was I? ooh the hair business....

I always make my hair in town but this past weekend I was too lazy to get to town, so I chose a local salon. Who did a good job by the way!! For a local estate salon, that had no prior recommendation, am impressed. The atmosphere there is homely. I laughed so hard at stories they told as they gently plaited my hair into neat cornrows.

High school Bullying as we know it is physical and can reflect on one’s emotional side but on this day I learnt there is also practical emotional bullying in high school. Rehema, one of the salonist (this word is non existent but I need it so RIP grammar) is a bubbly girl, very talkative and loves a hearty laughter. She came in when I had just sat down and she immediately lit up the room with a warm smile. Half way into the plaiting session, she tells us of how she went to a good national girl’s school in the heart of Eldoret. ( names withheld though if you hail from Mursik land you probably will have a right guess). For this reason, I assume she then must own the salon, that school produces very bright girls, women winning wards and always being nominated for the top 40 under 40 achievers, you get the drill? Rehema on the other hand says she failed terribly due to emotional stress. This almost became a sad story but she picks it up with a smile, saying she enjoys her job.

  In Rehema’s school, equality was unheard of, they were only equal when they stood on the parade ground to listen to the teacher repeat the same instructions daily using different words.  The same colour of skirts, pullovers and socks neatly arranged on level ground defined equality at its best. It started there and sadly ended right there.

In this school, beside the dinning hall, there was a cafeteria and a canteen. What else would a teenager want? Some students did not know where the door to the dinning room was. That’s awesome!! They always ate at the canteen. Their pockets were deeper and wider than those of others. Some had tea and bread at every tea break while some like Rehema had it when they could. When the family cow had delivered a calf and milk prices had gone up, so the benefit in one way or another would trickle down to more pocket allowance. She recons there are times when they would walk from a tough maths lesson feeling confused only for one of them to walk back into class with a box of pizza. Her mum or dad had left is for her at the gate. You know how a maths lesson can make you crave pizza?! Well your mum knows it too swiry.  Poor you if you were not friends with a maths stressed pizza craving student; you will have to do with the aroma. Take it or leave it. 

In the evenings, the pizza craving maths allergic student would make noodles for she cannot stand the sight of high school ugali. J. Rehema and her fraternity of students from the village would wait with baited breadth for the queens to finish up their noodles and give them the soup. They would then “fish for the remains” (she actually said “fish”), then take the soup with bread and smile alone in the bed. This school was an epitome of an unequal society. Children had to learn to keep their lanes from such an early age. This story is on the edge of becoming sad if its not already sad. I will walk away from it, not very far though.

 I once had a bully boss. This morning I just ran into one gmail chat that we had when he was so mad. The guy was a little bit weird if I may put it lightly. He never talked when he was mad. In stead, hed go to his office and shoot emails one after the other. Then he would finally start a gmail chat just to make sure you did the anger is home and really home.

Below is a blast from the past. I do not remember what it was about. Bit I tell you he was boiling up. Lol!!

Richards: keklen
Richards: Kellen'
Me: yes
Richards: why only you with excuses...didnt you see that beforehand
Me: i did not think we would get that late
Richards: do you expect me to continue buying your nonsense
Richards: i called you to just be sure
Me: yes
Richards: i will review your account
Richards: my personal grant depends on your respect for work
Richards: if i get one excuse from u in a week,
Richards: that is reasonable
Richards: for you, each and every other time
Richards: there is a problem somewhere
Me: ok
Richards: ok what
Richards: you have no courtesy
Richards: and you will have that reflected in your account
Richards: look,
Richards: am giving you a professional chance to keep yourself on board or to leave it...
Richards: I advise you make my altitude right on you...for whatever time we work together....it will help you.

I amuse my self; see how calm I remained all through. He was so mad, hed not write my name well. I think he was shaking. *evilgrin*

This personal grant is one thing I never laid my hands on. It was supposed to be an incentive but I think it was more of a threat.

Bullies shall always be bullies, so take your chicken noodle soup and fish for noodles, as long as you smile while fishing, then you are at your best.

For bullies will always be bullies.

I was given a professional (this word is misplaced) chance to keep myself on board or to leave it. I happily took the latter as i calmly sipped chicken soup.

 I thank God I did, doors flung open almost immediately.