Lets Make Love

 

I have either been listening out for negative talk or I am just dealing with too many negative people around me lately. I hear negativity all around these days. People who want to dampen others' spirits, those who think they can validate their existence by making others feel worthless, humanity is constantly hurt by humans.

It gets to a point where I predict what someone will say negatively so that when the outcome is contrary to my perceived thought, I celebrate.  At times, self doubt kicks in after a negative comment and you may actually lose faith in yourself in the process. That is how humans kills silently. By shutting others up, mostly with mundane ideologies drawn from their own inadequacies. 

Here is the thing, yesterday I had a really bad day. I had tears welling up in my eyes every seven minutes or so. It started the previous evening, someone tried very hard to make me feel worthless and abused my intelligence needless to say that it was in public. I was enraged and when I am, I don’t talk or cry, I smile and I hate it. I don’t know where this stupid fake smile comes from. But it always confuses the other person.

There was a permanent thing around my neck. The thing that makes you feel like you want to swallow a potato but you can’t. It was my neck ornament for the day.  I tried wearing heels to feel good. Marilyn Monroe said good shoes lift moods, right? Well it dint work. I called my mother. This is supposed to be the ultimate drill to change moods, well let’s just say it just dint feel any better. By evening, I was still in a foul mood. But my face was all things happy, I smiled, laughed and would hear my soul struggling to keep its sorrow amidst the laughter.

When I was leaving the office, my friend called me for a coffee date. “Not a bad way to end a bad day” I thought. We had a little chit chat, catching up and she asked me a question that made me realize, there was no reason at all to focus on the negative things in life. She found it amazing how I juggle being a mum, a wife, a career woman and still do other stuff on the side. I said I have it in me, that energy to keep going.  I listened to my self say those words and I smiled. I had it in me, all this while. I had it in me to stay positive and not let any other person bring me down.

On my way home after the date, wait, I have a colleague who insists if its a meeting between two girls or two men its not a date but a meeting. But this was, Monica had this hoarse voice from a cold she got as a way to welcome her back to her motherland. Her voice was so bad you should have seen how people stared when we laughed out loud. You could see them conclude by raising their eyebrows that we were on a date and that Monica was the one :) Hahaha get well soon and enjoy your stay.

Where were we, ooh going home. I thought of people who face so much negativity and have still not realized that they have it within them to stay positive and said I will let them know how to stay positive among negative people; 

1. Limit the time you spend with people of negative energy.  

2. Know that you are the best version of yourself, accept that and never try to be anyone else.

3. Weird is rad. Many people think that just because you are not like them, then you are weird, you’re thought processes are skewed, may be unacceptable, because it not normal, well that's okay, weird is rad, rock it!

4. Know what is best for you, listen to advice since negative people are always willing to offer it, then go ahead and do what ever it is you were going to do anyway. 

5. Expect less. 

6. Feed on positive thoughts and store up for a rainy day.

7. Spread positivism to others, it renews you.

8.  Analyze people. No, really, know the people you are dealing with, that way you their actions won’t surprise you. 

9. Do not answer to a negative thought, it may damaged you. Refer to no. 1.

10. Love covers all things, spread it.

                        Lets make love, not damaged humans!!

You Are Awesome, Woman!

 I have had a hard time thinking about how to blog on this issue. It has been weighing me down for various reason. Today someone sent me a video that I watched and it gave me a beautiful insight.

Who are you? It starts by asking. Top of my mind was; "I am a woman."  And sure enough it was about women.

There are many women who cannot define themselves beyond their gender. When they look at themselves, woman is all they see. Which is great, but they never seem to realize that a woman is a great thing to be. A woman is a giver of life, a nurturer, a definition of beauty, a source of strength, a leader just to name but a few. I have to admit when I was thinking about this topic I actually posed and asked myself, what are the chances that God is a woman? Valid question, see women are strong though not physically, their emotional strength is a force to recon with, they bring fourth life, they are beautiful and man is made in God’s image. :)

POTUS on his visit to Kenya while addressing Kenyatta University students admitted that women make better leaders. See, even powerful men recognize the strength of a woman. This begs the question then why the woman does not recognize her strength.

The world around the woman hardly aims at elevating her. The woman is crushed, broken and demeaned just for being a woman. The African society is best at this. Everyday for a woman is a struggle to prove herself. We may think we have won the fight for equality but the fight is far from over. We have women who develop a negative attitude towards life because of the pain caused by the men in their lives. Dads who still value their sons more than the daughters and men who treat their wives and girl friends like trash because they have self esteem issues and to feel powerful they pick on women’s weaknesses. It makes a man with low self esteem feel powerful when a woman begs for his mercy. It is the core of abuse in relationships and the woman feels worthless and unacceptable so she will stay at the only place she think she can be accepted.

However, what women need to realize is a that there is a power that lies within them to do great things. Delilah conquered the most powerful man. It was the feminine charm that made such a strong man lose his strength to a woman. Esther married a foolish King, but she used her beauty and wisdom even in a corrupt kingdom to save her tribesmen. The late Waangari Maathai; If you read her autobiography, you will feel the power of a woman’s struggle to save the environment that went largely unrecognized yet she still changed how the world handles the environment today. Rahab was a prostitute but she used her womanly wisdom to save two Israelite spies.

It does not matter who you are in society, you can make a difference. These women are no different from the woman you are now. You were born with that amazing wisdom, strength and power to do amazing things as a woman. This power is vested in every woman. Your job is to find this thing and release it.

Dear woman;

You are beautiful,

You are smart

You are funny,

You are kind

You are unique

You are worth y of love and affection

You are never too much and you are always enough

You are precious,

A rose, a diamond, the most stunning of all God’s creation.

You are worth more than you can ever imagine.

You are worth more than your weight, more than the value of your shoes.

Your worth does not increase with designer clothes.

You are worth much even when you are naked.

You are worth more than your career.

You are worth more than the number of girls who wish they were you,

and the number of men wish they had you.

Your worth surpasses all earthly things because in the eyes of God you are worth dying for.

Regardless of who you think you are,

Whether you look at the mirror and hate the image you see,

Whether you are a mother to child whose dad you do not know,

Whether you are such a winner, but an empty soul,

The truth is you deserve to be loved by someone who can give up their lives for you.

Because you are powerful, strong and capable.

Inside of you is a capability to change the world.

Your responsibility is to find that powerful woman inside you and set that woman free.

Because, you are that woman.

Go ahead woman, be awesome.

                                 Don’t you ever forget, to be awesome, woman!!