Give Power Back to the Man this International Women’s Day!

It is March again, that time of the year when we get to celebrate the woman and her achievements world over. 

Today, the stage is set for celebrations; forums will be held to discuss on women empowerment, condemn violence against women, and award women in science, technology and all other male dominated industries. Reports will be released with a focus on women’s contribution to economic growth, innovation, politics and other sectors previously preserved for men. Social media will go a buzz with positive posts to celebrate the female achievers, congratulate the leaders and encourage upcoming ones in different sectors. The previously considered weaker sex will prove its prowess to itself and the world once more. Several post will detail on how difficult it is to exist as a woman and advocate for fair treatment. Fair here will be used to mean giving priority to the female gender which in reality will be a bias. Because as it has become, equality is no longer equal. Welcome to the 21^st century where the girl child has taken over and the boy child been neglected.

In the recent past, Africa has been on the rise on matters gender equality. This has seen the culture of neglecting the girl child and relegating her to household chores and marriage as her ultimate goal in life take a back seat. Educated women have become fashionable and society celebrates them. They are accorded more respect than their male counterparts with the same achievements. That statement however, would leave a bad taste in anyone’s mouth if they believe in gender balance.

In today's’ society and as was in the past, it is believed that the boy should be strong. The difference between today and the past however is the underlying factor that is eating away the value of the boy child. In the past, the boy child was brought up to become a man of valor, a pillar of strength and an achiever of all things great. Weak men were not given a change to exist. Boys were mentored into strength, courage and ambition. Today however, such guidance is rare, all focus has shifted to empowering the girl child. Unfortunately, the same society still holds the opinion that; placed under the same testing environment as their female counterparts, boys should perform better.

Equality should result in a balanced allocation of opportunities, resources and love to all parties involved. There exists very few programs if any that are purely dedicated to the empowerment of the boy child. The mention of the boy child comes in under the youth, which basically comprises both gender. It is not equality if there more tender allocations by the government to the women just for being female. If there are budgetary allocations to women for their economic empowerment programs and none for the men. The same applies for employment opportunities that state they are equal opportunity employers then go ahead and encourage female candidates to apply. It then begs the question if male candidates are discourages to apply. Does anyone see this other side of the coin? How much of being female guarantees that one will deliver more than their male counterparts fighting for the same opportunity. Equality should be equal. Let all people compete for the same resources and the best be selected on merit and not gender. If female then, so be it.

The pressure to be successful in a society that barely celebrates your success has set the boy child up for failure. Societal roles such as parenting that have absolutely no manual are now a measuring unit for “real men”. It is not for a man not to be able to deal with such challenges, and the females have already set the standards. Expectations of one to behave in a certain way, earn a certain amount of income and lead a predetermined lifestyle for one to be eligibly considered man enough to raise a family is a notion has seen the rise of many single parent families headed by women. As the saying goes among the females, it is said; “he wasn't man enough for me.” Obviously, “man enough “ is a measuring unit that the man in the given situation did not live up to and in most cases, he probably did not even have “man enough” spelled out to him before the test was on.” The result of this is men who feel inadequate as parents and opt to exit the two parent family set up and raise their children either by themselves or from a distance.

The intention to empower the girl child was right but along the way it has birthed a neglected boy child. But all is not lost. Society needs to go back in time and realize that the need for equality calls for a balance on both sides of the equation. A society of equal opportunities must be set to recover the situation before the boy child loses value in the current set up.

It is said to give power is to remain powerful. As the women get celebrated by the world this year, she can give power back to the man without taking away her crown. Women should realize that time has come for them to get to positions by merit and not selections and appointments based on gender. To get elected into leadership positions for their experience, skills and achievements and not just because they are female. To work for an equal society beginning right from the family set up because their sons will in the future need women who will love them as wives and encourage them to become the men they were born to be. It is time to tilt the seesaw and balance it if we really mean to have a balance in gender equality.

Happy International Women’s Day!

Love for a Reason; Let the Reason be Love.

I wanted to write a story about love.

But then I was stuck at the first sentence because writing about love is emotionally involving, something I find tasking.

Earlier this week, I lost a colleague at work. A tall cool guy. He loved to laugh, a lot. He did not talk much but would be pleasant if you engaged him in a conversation. Never much of a conversation starter. He collapsed while jogging. A fit guy, he always walked home. Low fat diet, vegetable lover. Again, he loved to laugh. This is the paradox of life. That one dies while working to stay healthy. Death is mean, we try to avoid it and it lies at the very path we are sure it can't be on, shamelessly waiting. His time was a week to Valentines day. May he rest in Peace.

We make plans for this big day; hotel bookings, office deliveries and pleasant surprises for the big day but what will really matter at the end are the moments we had. Here and now is all we have, all we can be sure of. The future is great for dreams but today is a perfect day to love.

The purpose of love is to love for a reason. That you may buy her that rose, open that door, write her a love note and call her at work because you miss her.
You may not be the kind of guy to bring flowers everyday and say "I love you" in many fancy ways, but if you love for a reason and that reason is love, your smile should brighten up her mood just like a blooming rose would.Your simple ways would intrigue her .

Love is not romance. Love is friendship. Love is the smile, the glow in his eyes. The way he inspires you. The way he resists to smile at your stupid jokes because he wants to be serious around you when you are discussion serious matters. Love is wishing them well, much more than you wish for yourself. Love is not jealous I guess that is how Solomon was able to keep 700 hundred wives and 300 hundred concubines. He told them love is not jealous and they lived happily ever after. (Do not quote me though).

Life is too short to love for the show. If you love for something; seasons end, looks fade, feelings disappear, money is superficial and luxury never satisfying.

Love today, love now its all we are sure about. Love for a reason; let the reason be love.

29 Lessons I Have Learnt in the Last two Years.

Photo Credit; Here

Happy new year. It may be late for you but for me it actually feels so new now more than ever.

I began the year with a countdown to my birthday which was special because the last day of the job I have done the last two years.

After this post in which I had lost all hope, I sat down and decided to go back to the drawing board. I wanted to take a whole new direction career wise but my mentor could not hear none of it. I wanted to stop being mentored and just be let to make decisions that I thought were right for me but thank God for calm people in this world.

I came back to my senses when this question "so what is the short term plan? Because what you have is good but long term." was thrown at me. These kind of people are a bit annoying at such moments, and so I made two short term plans both of which had persistence as the main ingredient. Eventually after hard work, persistence like that of the proverbial widow and prayer without ceasing, it paid off. I couldn't hold my tears when I got the positive news. I was elated, it is not much but the joy of seeing something you have worked so hard for succeeds is always amazing.


There are a few lesson I have picked along the way and I will share them with you below. Some will make sense while some, well let us just say people have different perspectives in life.

1. In life, you need a mentor and as hard as it may seem to always ask the opinion of someone over something concerning your life, if you want to grow, you cannot avoid this.

2. Know when to walk away; not all situations have a positive side.

3. If it is draining you, it is time to make a change.

4. Your network is your net worth. Make friends at every opportunity you get.

5. Celebrate small victories but do not get comfortable in them, aim higher after every step.

6. Positive energy bounces back to you in equal measure but not necessarily same speed, give it either way.

7. Depersonalize failure ; things do not always go as planned and it has nothing to do with you. Failure is failure and so is success, it is not about certain people, it is about situations.

8. Getting a passion and going after it is a great thing. It is mind occupying and at the same time it lets you compete with yourself. The eventual result is growth as you achieve certain personal goals.

9. Things happen the way they do for a reason but that should not make us resign to fate, instead make the right choices with the end in mind.

10. Always have the end in mind and work out the plan to get there. Without the end, we are heading nowhere.

11. Read wide. I am not the best of readers but I try and I can tell you that reading makes you see the world through a different window.

12. Do not be afraid to shine.

13. Work out, It makes you feel good about yourself even.

14. Believe in the beauty of your dreams. If you can not see how beautiful your future is, you cannot convince the world to see it and you cannot work towards it. Something has to motivate you and that thing is a mental picture of what you want to be like, to have or to own in the future.

15. To thy own self ; be true.

16. If it involves pleasing people , do it but not for long because it will take away your self esteem.

17. If what you do is all you have at that particular time, love it, do it with passion. Working from a point of love is essential, it makes you happy. Happy people deliver good results. The question that you will always be asked is; how do you do it? Even if you say it is love, people will not  understand.

18. Try new things, you never know what new talent you may discover.

19. Keep time, it makes you look organised even if you are not. :)

20. Do not hate the player nor the game, hate the fact that there is nothing you are doing about it and change that.

21. Get a system to deal with anger and disappointments. Do not let it weigh you down, neither let them make you negatively affect those around you.

22. Laugh, it heals wounds.

23. Make friends across all age brackets, older people will give you wisdom, children will ask you thought provoking questions, young people will make you realize that life is never that serious and your age mates should challenge you.

24. Forgive people, yourself included.

25. At any given time , whatever you do, give your best , not for anything but so that you can leave a legacy. Let it be said, "there once worked a girl here who gave her best" about you.

26. If boiling an ocean is what you have to do to earn a living, do it. Do what you have to do to stay relevant. It is a fast paced world, if you slow down or get too comfortable. you will soon be obsolete. Remember to never sink in your ocean.

27.Never forget the days of your humble beginnings, let them inspire you to greater heights.

28. It is better to be peaceful than to be right. This is the most important lesson.

29. Last but not least, commit all your plans to God and he will make your path straight.

Taking Stock for 2015

The year is quickly coming to a close. Amazingly, It has ended in a way that I wished for but never expected. God has shone his face on me. It is like watching the sunset on a beach. The view is breath taking and the feeling it gives is uplifting. It remains in your mind, beautifully weaved together for you to remember and smile. I am excited about 2016. I don't remember being this excited about a new year. I am walking into it with so much energy because I know God has better things in store for me if I keep believing him.


Making: New friends at every chance I get. Your network is your net-worth.

Hoping: To diversify my writing next year. To write better articles and impact more people through my blog posts.

Cooking: No, baking more often than before. So far, lemon cake is my best. 

Drinking: Less tea and coffee and more water.

Reading: Those nursery school books everyday. I am teaching the little man how to 

read. Yesterday during our reading session I realized that these new generation kids are 

not a joke. In his alphabet book , I is for Ice cream and J is fr Jeep. I think I knew a Jeep 

while in high school. J was for jump, I was for insect :).  #goals #generationZmaybe  

Wanting: New challenges everyday. I want to hang around people who are bubbling with energy and bursting with ideas like they are paid to think.

Looking: Forward to the new year :).

Playing: That song "Moto ya kuotea mbali" in my head nonstop. I cant stop myself.

Wasting: No time in terms of goal setting and chasing.

Sewing: Nothing at all.

Wishing: I can get a watch for New Years or for just existing :).

Enjoying: Coming to work over the Holiday season. There is absolutely no traffic.

Waiting: For January to start. The month has only 20 working days but there is so much to do plus, hey it my birthday month. 

Liking: That Domino's Pizza opened a store right opposite our office. A slice once a while wont hurt :). 

Wondering: Whether I am the only one with so much psyche for 2016. 

Loving: The color pink more everyday.

Marveling: At God's love upon me and my family in 2015.

Needing: A mentor. A high flying female in the corporate world. Recommendations can come.

Smelling: Some chicken pies from the kitchen. 

Wearing: Pink, black and nude heels.

Following: Nothing.

Noticing: That I have added weight over the festive season. Njaanuary will work on it though, no worries.

Knowing: I am better than I was last year like now.

Thinking: That I should buy myself these three books  ; The Tipping Point, The Rules of Power and Purple Hibiscus by Chimamanda. I should start the new year on a bright drive.

Feeling: Excited knowing that mid next year my little man joins school. I don't know how I will manage to hold back my tears when I see him in uniform. 

Bookmarking: Many blogs on Agriprenuership. 

Opening: My desk to take out lip balm.

Giggling: At nothing really.

New beginnings are nothing if you do not transform that energy into something useful.

Go ahead and celebrate, but remember there are 364 days ahead for you to execute your plans. Wake up everyday and remember what excited you about that new beginning, ignite that fire and keep going.

You will feel like stopping, going slower and generally being in doubt, but always find a new reason to go on. If you cant find, remember why you started. If it still does not inspire you, remember you have so many people you need to prove wrong, do not let anyone ever define you as a failure. Be a success in your own terms. 

Thank you so much for reading all through 2015.
Happy new year.

The Stool Test

Picture courtesy of clandmed.com

It was my first time to have a migraine. I cannot describe the pain any better than saying it is like someone was lighting a fire on my head. It was just burning up there and it kept becoming hotter. I thought it was something to do with my eyesight or some crazy tonsillitis. You can imagine my horror when the doctor said we shall take a stool test. 

Really?! Stool test? I said headache. We shall test typhoid and other things, he said. I concluded I would have made a crappy doctor. But crappy doctors do exist nonetheless.

I was once involved in a minor car accident on my way to work and other than shock, I really did not have much pain till later in the day when my right leg started swelling and I realized I was slightly bruised. I walked into a hospital expecting to be given pain killers and maybe a pain gel. The fella had ear phones on. He would occasionally remove them, slowly take his sleepy eyes off his machine, ask a question e.g what time was the accident? Where was the accident? Which bus was it? Is it the reason why there is a traffic snarl up on Thika road?  One at a time, then he slowly would put his cheap earphones back on and hit the keyboard like his nails had just been manicured and he dint want to spoil the look. No he was not an old guy.

 I had already had an accident, I dint want to pick fights and arguments with anyone so I waited patiently for him to do his thing as I convinced myself that the doctor may need to report this accident victim to the nearest Police Post so irrelevant questions were part of a bigger plan. When he asked If I had a heartburn yet he had not even asked about the leg or even shown any signs of seeking to know whether it was the right or left leg we were discussing, I gave up on his professionalism and walked out. I guess they must have a whatsApp group called "Nairobi's Crappy Doctors" and as soon as I walked out of the consultation room, the chat must have been something like;

Crappy Doc One : Just asked a leg injury patient if she had a heart burn....lmao!!


Crappy Doc Two: Digehota! Tears.....was she cute?

Crappy Doc One: Exactly the reason for my strategy to make her stay longer and                                                   
                                     probably get a little mad, you know how light skinned mamas are cute                       
                                  when the are  mad.........hahaha. She had cute legs  btw.
                           
Crappy Doc Donholm:  Cute legs that you dint touch, nkt!! Umetuangusha!!

                            

                                                                   Crappy Nurse left 

Crappy Doc One Changed Group Subject to "Zero chills".

Where were we? So yea I went to a different hospital whose doctor was probably not a member of the above group or maybe he is the silent follower. 

Back to the stool test, I was sent to the lab for the procedure. 

I don't know why hospitals have never thought about making some of these procedures patient friendly. 

They should have a room with the containers and chats showing directions like ; 
"Stool Sample .....................> Pick clear container with a scoop like thing inside here ..................> Write your name on the label. Use toilets on the left, put a little fecal matter, return on the tray on the right. :) 

Slogan: Relax, we shall handle your shit!!

Everyone in that room would know we are here to have the fecal matter test. There wouldn't be any shame, we are fecal matter patients, we can form a whatsApp group after we get our results and share our experiences. Haha. 

Unfortunately, the truth is that you have to meet the lab guy who in most cases I assume must be a member of "Zero Chills" group. Like the guy I met had a marvin on. Are lab technicians allowed to wear marvins at work? Will some bacteria crawl up their heads and cause them to be bald at an early age thus they must cover up? I dint get it; the marvin thing. But you cant ask a lab guy personal questions, he might get offended and say you are positive while you are not, or raise his voice when he is giving you the stool container "chota stool kidogo uweke hapa." Then the kids waiting with their parents at the waiting bay will ask "Mummy, stool inaweza chotwa?" And you cant laugh because the joke is on you and about you. I also don't know why they make the stool container so small. Okay maybe so that they literally don't have to handle so much shit but really if they have to be that small, please give a manual alongside. Thank you.

As I wanted for my results I wondered how it is like to handle people's shit everyday of your life for a living. Do people actually have this passion? You grow up hoping to examine fecal matter someday? I know it is not the only examination in medical lab but it must be the most intriguing for a passion driven lab professional. I was unable to get a clear mental picture of what kind of a lab technician I would have made. 

Finally, my results were out and I was sent back to the doctor who said the test was negative but I would be put on medication to control acidity in my stomach. Fair enough I thought. As I waited to get my acid control medication from the pharmacy, the doctor called out my name. "Me?" I was just making sure I do not have a name sake in the queue. "Yes." I figured this must be another crappy doctor moment. Once inside the consultation room , he dint let my mind wander much. He said the lab technician had sent an update on my result and It was positive. Wth!!

Crappy lab technician: Just sent the second reading and its positive hahaha (insert the                                                   
                                                   tears emoji)

Crappy Doc Donholm: How long did you wait to see the result? That may be out of the                                                   
                                                  test window period.

Crappy lab technician: Oooh damn it, did I even check the test window period.

Crappy Doc One: Hahaha, day made!!


The doctor said we shall use the first result. The second one may be skewed. Because if you take the results after the test window period is over, the results are different.

I wondered whether the lab technician had noticed that I did not approve of his marvin swag. Or may be I gave him too much shit? What would make a lab technician have second thoughts about a fecal matter patient?

At this point, I realized the whatsApp group would have come in handy for psychological support. Can you imagine if a campus student was told she was not pregnant then at the hospital gate on her way out she is called back and the result is positive?!

Greetings from Rock bottom :).

           
                                

I Hit Rock Bottom While Aiming for the Sky.

Focus is when you put all your energy, thoughts, hopes and aspirations in something you believe in. When you focus, you hardly hear the wind pass. You concentrate, you get immersed, lost and suddenly you are defining a new self. When you believing in something so much, you start envisioning yourself in it, with it or being it. You lose yourself.

This has been me the last two to three months. I wanted this new job position so much. I chased managers across the corridors and asked leading questions. I knew the positions were opening but I dint know when and so I kept tabs on every new change. 

When you want to find a husband, you put yourself out there. It is the same thing with finding a job. I was out there more than It is needed. :)

People started to notice me, I took part in almost all group activities, heck I even anchored the news on the t.v channel at our workplace. Yes we have t.v channel . That was a good night, that night I was on air. I was almost a celebrity overnight, people poured out hearty congratulations as others were amazed that I had the courage to do that. 

The thing is, I am told I have a misleading face. People meet me and think I am uptight and serious,probably even boring but I think they are the ones who have a problem because after sometime they actually admit it " I never knew you were this talkative, or funny or whatever else adjectives they feel like using to describe my happy self. I am used to being profiled by the seriousness on my face and I keep wondering, should I go smiling around like a smiling machine or what do they exactly mean when the say " You are too serous"?

The job positions opened up and you can bet I was first to drop in my application. Five minutes after a communication was sent that the vacancies were open, candidate number one was already waiting. I did a lot of following up weeks later to  ensure that it had actually been received. On the weekend before the interview, I locked my self indoors and read manuals and websites. I was more prepared than was required as I realized during the interview because that was the first time I had been in front of a panel that nodded when I talked and one that I actually got to interview a little because I felt like they dint pose a challenge big enough for me . They were done; I actually got myself asking "Is that all?" Where was I to take all this information on Forex, FDIs, Dispora banking and all those things? I dint want to use the next time, I dint see a next time. I walked out of that room feeling proud of myself.  

Meet the brand ambassador for the night :)
Behind that smile were tears that needed to flow.

 A week later, I was selected among other people to be a brand ambassador for the new brand. It was a great feeling, a premonition of better things to come. The wait for my interview results was painful because doubt would creep in now and then. But I held on to my faith. Word on the corridors was that I was second in ranking. My competition must have been born way earlier than I was because the only thing she had above me was experience. I was happy because number two counts too. But time went and there was no communication and finally it dawned on me that the only place to be is at the top. Average does not cut it. I was not ready for such news. I broke down. It was the day were to hold the event where I doing the brand ambassador roles. I was not happy. Behind my smile were tears that could occasionally make me visit the washrooms more often than normal. I wanted to scream and curse. I wanted to hate whom ever took my job. I was not prepared for failure. I hit rock bottom .

This post comes from a point of pain. A point where self acceptance is needed but there is not enough to give. But the pen takes away  my pain in a way I cannot explain. So I thought about; it not conclusive thoughts. They were scattered all over and they dint even care to gather and make sense. I decided to write about it. 

Because in life no situation is unique to you. Some one must have gone through the same, another may need to hear that someone like you can actually fail. There maybe one wondering why she is alone in failure. Here is to those who have aimed for the sky and fallen for the stars, we have to keep trying, better still, change strategy but we must get what we want because we deserve the best. 

This is beside the point but hey, I googled the meaning of Mihas, and this is what I found: http://www.meaninglike.com/what-does-name-stand-for/mihas timely, right?

Cheers!

Lets Make Love

 

I have either been listening out for negative talk or I am just dealing with too many negative people around me lately. I hear negativity all around these days. People who want to dampen others' spirits, those who think they can validate their existence by making others feel worthless, humanity is constantly hurt by humans.

It gets to a point where I predict what someone will say negatively so that when the outcome is contrary to my perceived thought, I celebrate.  At times, self doubt kicks in after a negative comment and you may actually lose faith in yourself in the process. That is how humans kills silently. By shutting others up, mostly with mundane ideologies drawn from their own inadequacies. 

Here is the thing, yesterday I had a really bad day. I had tears welling up in my eyes every seven minutes or so. It started the previous evening, someone tried very hard to make me feel worthless and abused my intelligence needless to say that it was in public. I was enraged and when I am, I don’t talk or cry, I smile and I hate it. I don’t know where this stupid fake smile comes from. But it always confuses the other person.

There was a permanent thing around my neck. The thing that makes you feel like you want to swallow a potato but you can’t. It was my neck ornament for the day.  I tried wearing heels to feel good. Marilyn Monroe said good shoes lift moods, right? Well it dint work. I called my mother. This is supposed to be the ultimate drill to change moods, well let’s just say it just dint feel any better. By evening, I was still in a foul mood. But my face was all things happy, I smiled, laughed and would hear my soul struggling to keep its sorrow amidst the laughter.

When I was leaving the office, my friend called me for a coffee date. “Not a bad way to end a bad day” I thought. We had a little chit chat, catching up and she asked me a question that made me realize, there was no reason at all to focus on the negative things in life. She found it amazing how I juggle being a mum, a wife, a career woman and still do other stuff on the side. I said I have it in me, that energy to keep going.  I listened to my self say those words and I smiled. I had it in me, all this while. I had it in me to stay positive and not let any other person bring me down.

On my way home after the date, wait, I have a colleague who insists if its a meeting between two girls or two men its not a date but a meeting. But this was, Monica had this hoarse voice from a cold she got as a way to welcome her back to her motherland. Her voice was so bad you should have seen how people stared when we laughed out loud. You could see them conclude by raising their eyebrows that we were on a date and that Monica was the one :) Hahaha get well soon and enjoy your stay.

Where were we, ooh going home. I thought of people who face so much negativity and have still not realized that they have it within them to stay positive and said I will let them know how to stay positive among negative people; 

1. Limit the time you spend with people of negative energy.  

2. Know that you are the best version of yourself, accept that and never try to be anyone else.

3. Weird is rad. Many people think that just because you are not like them, then you are weird, you’re thought processes are skewed, may be unacceptable, because it not normal, well that's okay, weird is rad, rock it!

4. Know what is best for you, listen to advice since negative people are always willing to offer it, then go ahead and do what ever it is you were going to do anyway. 

5. Expect less. 

6. Feed on positive thoughts and store up for a rainy day.

7. Spread positivism to others, it renews you.

8.  Analyze people. No, really, know the people you are dealing with, that way you their actions won’t surprise you. 

9. Do not answer to a negative thought, it may damaged you. Refer to no. 1.

10. Love covers all things, spread it.

                        Lets make love, not damaged humans!!

You Are Awesome, Woman!

 I have had a hard time thinking about how to blog on this issue. It has been weighing me down for various reason. Today someone sent me a video that I watched and it gave me a beautiful insight.

Who are you? It starts by asking. Top of my mind was; "I am a woman."  And sure enough it was about women.

There are many women who cannot define themselves beyond their gender. When they look at themselves, woman is all they see. Which is great, but they never seem to realize that a woman is a great thing to be. A woman is a giver of life, a nurturer, a definition of beauty, a source of strength, a leader just to name but a few. I have to admit when I was thinking about this topic I actually posed and asked myself, what are the chances that God is a woman? Valid question, see women are strong though not physically, their emotional strength is a force to recon with, they bring fourth life, they are beautiful and man is made in God’s image. :)

POTUS on his visit to Kenya while addressing Kenyatta University students admitted that women make better leaders. See, even powerful men recognize the strength of a woman. This begs the question then why the woman does not recognize her strength.

The world around the woman hardly aims at elevating her. The woman is crushed, broken and demeaned just for being a woman. The African society is best at this. Everyday for a woman is a struggle to prove herself. We may think we have won the fight for equality but the fight is far from over. We have women who develop a negative attitude towards life because of the pain caused by the men in their lives. Dads who still value their sons more than the daughters and men who treat their wives and girl friends like trash because they have self esteem issues and to feel powerful they pick on women’s weaknesses. It makes a man with low self esteem feel powerful when a woman begs for his mercy. It is the core of abuse in relationships and the woman feels worthless and unacceptable so she will stay at the only place she think she can be accepted.

However, what women need to realize is a that there is a power that lies within them to do great things. Delilah conquered the most powerful man. It was the feminine charm that made such a strong man lose his strength to a woman. Esther married a foolish King, but she used her beauty and wisdom even in a corrupt kingdom to save her tribesmen. The late Waangari Maathai; If you read her autobiography, you will feel the power of a woman’s struggle to save the environment that went largely unrecognized yet she still changed how the world handles the environment today. Rahab was a prostitute but she used her womanly wisdom to save two Israelite spies.

It does not matter who you are in society, you can make a difference. These women are no different from the woman you are now. You were born with that amazing wisdom, strength and power to do amazing things as a woman. This power is vested in every woman. Your job is to find this thing and release it.

Dear woman;

You are beautiful,

You are smart

You are funny,

You are kind

You are unique

You are worth y of love and affection

You are never too much and you are always enough

You are precious,

A rose, a diamond, the most stunning of all God’s creation.

You are worth more than you can ever imagine.

You are worth more than your weight, more than the value of your shoes.

Your worth does not increase with designer clothes.

You are worth much even when you are naked.

You are worth more than your career.

You are worth more than the number of girls who wish they were you,

and the number of men wish they had you.

Your worth surpasses all earthly things because in the eyes of God you are worth dying for.

Regardless of who you think you are,

Whether you look at the mirror and hate the image you see,

Whether you are a mother to child whose dad you do not know,

Whether you are such a winner, but an empty soul,

The truth is you deserve to be loved by someone who can give up their lives for you.

Because you are powerful, strong and capable.

Inside of you is a capability to change the world.

Your responsibility is to find that powerful woman inside you and set that woman free.

Because, you are that woman.

Go ahead woman, be awesome.

                                 Don’t you ever forget, to be awesome, woman!!

The Devil is Not a Toddler

There will always be situations in life that will make you realize that and the devil is not a toddler whom you dance around with singing silly songs in high pitched voices. He is also not your boy that you will negotiate terms and conditions in such situations. 

Here goes some;

1. You have always arrived to work in time. You get there, do your make up, read the business daily, see how the national airline is fairing, text your salonist and book an appointment for her to check on your hairline in the evening, pray and work starts flowing. This has been you for the last three years. Then this day you are told of a board meeting at 7am, which means you have to be at work by 6.30am. You work late the previous evening to ensure all necessary material for the meeting is ready. Your boss sends you a mail asking how ready you are for the meeting and your response? "I am on top of things, everything is going on well" Till the next morning when you wake up to the sunlight coming into your bedroom through the window. Its 8am and you are not dreaming.

2. You leave the club in good shape and great health. The kidneys decide to do the filtering a bit faster than they were doing as you were drinking and you get pressed as soon as the driver starts the engine. You nod to the music and sing along to keep your mind off the thought. You take the stairs in faith because you live on fourth floor and the grace is sufficient. But the lock wont open easy, you say a silent prayer and as soon as its open, it is actually open. :) The walk, no run, I mean sprint from the door to the loo is ten times longer than taking the stairs in slow motion and you still don't make in one piece. 

3. No sooner had you lathered your whole body in soap than the lights go off and you have to rinse off with cold water. Wuui

4. On a day like today, you leave home when the sun is shinning. You have been in a jacket and a scarf all week, so what a relief to dress less. Then as soon as you get to town, it starts to drizzle.

5. That one week you have not gone to the salon, because you din't have time or you want your hair do to be fresh for a certain event so you put up with two or three bad hair days, on the last day of your bad hair week, you meet your ex on your way home from work. Well well well..........

6. You buy this new dress and you know for sure you are going to turn heads in it.  On Monday morning, it fits a little tighter, as you walk down the stairs, the hind section does that thing of lifting the dress up with every stride. You get to ground floor and the care taker gives you this look and you confirm that for sure you need to change into something else. You rush up the stairs and on you way back, you trip and fall down the stairs. Its already ten minutes past your ideal time.

7. After a month of exams and burning the mid night oil every night, you decide to turn up and reward yourself . You wake up to a mammoth of a hangover the next day and your mum calls, she is at the gate, its a surprise :)

8. You get home late, but you are determined to cook a mean meal for yourself. You make the ugali and prepare the vegetables, as soon as you put meat on the fire. Gas goes off. The damn cylinder is done. 

9. What is the relationship between being on the "avoid alcohol" kind of medication and your best friend calling you for a random event by their company and its open bar?

10. Why does one get two great job offers at the same time and you have to choose? Hey blessings, make a queue, don't make me choose you , I love you all equally at different times. 

11. You plan a holiday trip with your pals. Make all bookings and arrangements, your are busy applying for your leave day when you get an email that there shall be a leave freeze for the next two months.

12. The day you do not iron your clothes at night you wake up to a black out.

13. The day yo carry some nice chicken curry for lunch to work is the day you get lunch dates. The day you have nothing, the only message you receive on your phone is Mshwari reminding you to pay the loan. 

14. You miss an office function for a friends party outside town and it sucks the life out of you.

15. Your friends tell you that you are not fit to drive home after a drinking spree. You argue and even manage to prove your sobriety to a reasonable level. The next thing, you are calling your friends with stories about how the alco blow guys wont accept 2k which is the only money in your pocket.

16. The day you are not in talking terms with your dude is when when some guy hits your Nisan March from behind on Thika road. You have to make the damn call. I mean its your orange Nissan March we are talking about. 

17. You always send the chama money in good time and with the withdrawal fee. This one time you forget to send on time and when you remember, the only money available on your mpesa is the flat fee no withdrawal fee. Its a bad day for the recipient, the next thing you are trending on the chama group. haha (insert emotion that laughs to tears). 

18. You leave work early and have no plot despite the fact that its a Friday. You decide #thetrend will be your thing that evening. Larry Madowo then decides to interview that ex jail bird who abused the president and has absolutely no clue of how to be sorry neither opinionated. I think he also has no clue of his age, you cant be so old at 22. Surely, you are making the real 22 year olds look like toddlers.

19. You start this post with an aim of getting 20 reasons and you are at numero 19 and you are too hungry to think further. Its cold and its 1.20 pm. Brain shuts!

The devil is not your boy....hehe but J.C ni baba yao :). 

Have a great weekend ahead and don't dance with the devil. 

State of a Failed Society... Mollis

I logged on to twitter yesterday evening and I found this trending topic #Mollis, curiously, I tried to see what it was about Mollis. Apparently, he is some hero to whom a girl has surrendered. My interest was to see how far KOT had gone with raising #1MilliForJadudi, I realized the topic was trending but not high ranking, its fine anyway. I do a few re-tweets and hope this two or three of my followers will be touched and give something. My contribution was little, so I have to top it up by raising awareness.

In my WhatsApp groups, Mollis is being mentioned again, but it is evening, that time to go see what my son has been up to all day.  I hardly have time to be on the Internet at night. I dedicate these hours to my family.

On my way to work, I read then take a short nap. Once in the office, I see this Mollis thing again and now am too curious. I put on my eye phones and listen to what will turn out to be the most disturbing audio I have listened to after one where a guy did a remix of Sauti Sol's Nerea song and tells Waithera to just get an abortion because the baby she is carrying may turn out to be Osama, or Onyancha or which ever bad personality we know of in this failed society.

I am not sure I was born at the right time, my generation may be in graves by now or maybe they are grand mothers in old people homes. Because I do not understand how a woman in pain during intercourse tells the guy that she is tired and the guy asks her to shut up and stop being silly is funny. How? How do we as a society sit down and decide that this woman's pain is our source of joy and we go ahead and send the audio to other people whom we think are of the same mind?

When I listened to that audio clip, my hands trembled and I was in shock. I tried to listen to the part where it gets funny and I found none. That guy does not care one bit about the lady and he is punishing her for having human desires. Sex should be an act of pleasure and never a one man show. (Pun fully intended). This lady is obviously not feeling the pleasure.

I thought about how many times women take such abuse and assume that it is normal, how many  women suffer in silence because sex is a taboo topic in African setting.
 How men who have lost face in society are seeking to redeem their egos by abusing women sexually. My heart broke at the thought that this may happen to any woman out there and she will not voice it out because this society will side with the supposed hero. Sexual abuse does not have to be violent. Any sexual act done against a woman's will is abuse and if we can not recognise that as a society, we are a failed generation ready to birth a failed nation.
This is the same guy you will tell you are pregnant and he will tell you to procure an abortion because the baby may be a criminal, of course heartless just like his father.

Its is these small seeds of evil we are planting in society today that are growing to be tall tress in the name of rogue pastors who kill people and get away with murder in broad day light and corrupt leaders, Of course when Mollis gets a position in government or maybe he is already there he will oppose the appointment of a lady  . Because any man who aims to gratify his ego by sexually harassing women has very low self esteem and hence sees a woman as a threat. That is why he takes advantage of her point of weakness.

If the mothers of today can stand up and decide to raise a generation of children who respect human life, boys who will grow to love respect and honor women of all ages and girls who will grow with the knowledge that they are no less of a human being because they are female, then we shall have succeeded in redeeming this failed society.

Some will say that this is an exaggerated point of view and that life is too short to try and solve every body's problem, so because it has happened, lets laugh about it. But I say life is too short to celebrate evil. I may not change as many as five souls but that one soul that will have a different perspective after reading this may have been the Mollis that  may have sexually abused your daughter in future .