Love for a Reason; Let the Reason be Love.

I wanted to write a story about love.

But then I was stuck at the first sentence because writing about love is emotionally involving, something I find tasking.

Earlier this week, I lost a colleague at work. A tall cool guy. He loved to laugh, a lot. He did not talk much but would be pleasant if you engaged him in a conversation. Never much of a conversation starter. He collapsed while jogging. A fit guy, he always walked home. Low fat diet, vegetable lover. Again, he loved to laugh. This is the paradox of life. That one dies while working to stay healthy. Death is mean, we try to avoid it and it lies at the very path we are sure it can't be on, shamelessly waiting. His time was a week to Valentines day. May he rest in Peace.

We make plans for this big day; hotel bookings, office deliveries and pleasant surprises for the big day but what will really matter at the end are the moments we had. Here and now is all we have, all we can be sure of. The future is great for dreams but today is a perfect day to love.

The purpose of love is to love for a reason. That you may buy her that rose, open that door, write her a love note and call her at work because you miss her.
You may not be the kind of guy to bring flowers everyday and say "I love you" in many fancy ways, but if you love for a reason and that reason is love, your smile should brighten up her mood just like a blooming rose would.Your simple ways would intrigue her .

Love is not romance. Love is friendship. Love is the smile, the glow in his eyes. The way he inspires you. The way he resists to smile at your stupid jokes because he wants to be serious around you when you are discussion serious matters. Love is wishing them well, much more than you wish for yourself. Love is not jealous I guess that is how Solomon was able to keep 700 hundred wives and 300 hundred concubines. He told them love is not jealous and they lived happily ever after. (Do not quote me though).

Life is too short to love for the show. If you love for something; seasons end, looks fade, feelings disappear, money is superficial and luxury never satisfying.

Love today, love now its all we are sure about. Love for a reason; let the reason be love.

29 Lessons I Have Learnt in the Last two Years.

Photo Credit; Here

Happy new year. It may be late for you but for me it actually feels so new now more than ever.

I began the year with a countdown to my birthday which was special because the last day of the job I have done the last two years.

After this post in which I had lost all hope, I sat down and decided to go back to the drawing board. I wanted to take a whole new direction career wise but my mentor could not hear none of it. I wanted to stop being mentored and just be let to make decisions that I thought were right for me but thank God for calm people in this world.

I came back to my senses when this question "so what is the short term plan? Because what you have is good but long term." was thrown at me. These kind of people are a bit annoying at such moments, and so I made two short term plans both of which had persistence as the main ingredient. Eventually after hard work, persistence like that of the proverbial widow and prayer without ceasing, it paid off. I couldn't hold my tears when I got the positive news. I was elated, it is not much but the joy of seeing something you have worked so hard for succeeds is always amazing.


There are a few lesson I have picked along the way and I will share them with you below. Some will make sense while some, well let us just say people have different perspectives in life.

1. In life, you need a mentor and as hard as it may seem to always ask the opinion of someone over something concerning your life, if you want to grow, you cannot avoid this.

2. Know when to walk away; not all situations have a positive side.

3. If it is draining you, it is time to make a change.

4. Your network is your net worth. Make friends at every opportunity you get.

5. Celebrate small victories but do not get comfortable in them, aim higher after every step.

6. Positive energy bounces back to you in equal measure but not necessarily same speed, give it either way.

7. Depersonalize failure ; things do not always go as planned and it has nothing to do with you. Failure is failure and so is success, it is not about certain people, it is about situations.

8. Getting a passion and going after it is a great thing. It is mind occupying and at the same time it lets you compete with yourself. The eventual result is growth as you achieve certain personal goals.

9. Things happen the way they do for a reason but that should not make us resign to fate, instead make the right choices with the end in mind.

10. Always have the end in mind and work out the plan to get there. Without the end, we are heading nowhere.

11. Read wide. I am not the best of readers but I try and I can tell you that reading makes you see the world through a different window.

12. Do not be afraid to shine.

13. Work out, It makes you feel good about yourself even.

14. Believe in the beauty of your dreams. If you can not see how beautiful your future is, you cannot convince the world to see it and you cannot work towards it. Something has to motivate you and that thing is a mental picture of what you want to be like, to have or to own in the future.

15. To thy own self ; be true.

16. If it involves pleasing people , do it but not for long because it will take away your self esteem.

17. If what you do is all you have at that particular time, love it, do it with passion. Working from a point of love is essential, it makes you happy. Happy people deliver good results. The question that you will always be asked is; how do you do it? Even if you say it is love, people will not  understand.

18. Try new things, you never know what new talent you may discover.

19. Keep time, it makes you look organised even if you are not. :)

20. Do not hate the player nor the game, hate the fact that there is nothing you are doing about it and change that.

21. Get a system to deal with anger and disappointments. Do not let it weigh you down, neither let them make you negatively affect those around you.

22. Laugh, it heals wounds.

23. Make friends across all age brackets, older people will give you wisdom, children will ask you thought provoking questions, young people will make you realize that life is never that serious and your age mates should challenge you.

24. Forgive people, yourself included.

25. At any given time , whatever you do, give your best , not for anything but so that you can leave a legacy. Let it be said, "there once worked a girl here who gave her best" about you.

26. If boiling an ocean is what you have to do to earn a living, do it. Do what you have to do to stay relevant. It is a fast paced world, if you slow down or get too comfortable. you will soon be obsolete. Remember to never sink in your ocean.

27.Never forget the days of your humble beginnings, let them inspire you to greater heights.

28. It is better to be peaceful than to be right. This is the most important lesson.

29. Last but not least, commit all your plans to God and he will make your path straight.