Apple tree love

Watu watatu walikwenda, watu watatu walikwenda mji wa Mombasa, kucheza chakacha kwa harusi…..

Am growing old. That is the song I am listening to as I type. It’s a great song; it only depicts old age when you actually start nodding to it and singing along. I am enjoying an old ballad.  Two decades older than me probably. Aging!!

I look at you sleep and I see me, I am always angry in my sleep. Maybe because I cannot eliminate poverty at that time. I see you getting mad at this lazy mandatory daily human phase. Your big eyes, a window to a happy soul. It’s a pity, you will one day have to squeeze them to shed a tear for a ruthless woman you will fall in love with. Vanity!! I will whip they that make you weep. But such is life, for you will keep and secretly hope you are a first.

We are not allowed to choose whom we will be. If I would, I would be you. There will never be a curvier smile on any man’s face. Your ears, prayers do get answered. This one was a big yes. I add Amen to it with every little kiss. But. A moment I take to think, I would not have done you justice. I would never have such confidence. Bravity you define. That task, I doubt I would accomplish as good as you.

If I would sit under an apple tree to listen to them fall and waste their beauty, sweetness and all the life in them. I would be these smiling. For I did well. I would imagine your tree, blossoming, burdening itself with fruit and being the envy of the forest. For that is what I will make you. An envy. A desire, a definition of selves. One apple Id pick and pose for a photo as I bite and stare into the far horizons. Then smile, wave in the air and kiss it. The earth too, thank it for bearing us, all of us. Being a mother to many and not giving in to the pressures as we pleasured on its nakedness.  IL savor life to its last bits. It’s meaningful. You are the meaning, son!!

Age has caught up

In this life of mine, one works late severally, depending on the rate at which people remember their needs and specify preference. Time I should say is a scarce resource. Ok on to the agenda.

Last week on Thursday I worked late, need less to say that Friday was to be a long day for me and my two other loves. But this is about Thursday, which I worked late on a report that was needed the next day. I am good with reports, or so I thought.

I walk past Seasons club and two women are throwing harsh words at each other. One is hot, the other one is, for the sake of justice and democracy, beautiful.  So its obvious they are fighting over a man. Who I hope has money. If Id fight for man, wed have to use money stacks as pillows. I am not poor; I was brought up in a 3^rd world country. That’s how it is.

Its not in me to stand to watch street wars, but they rarely occur on this side of town. The peculiarity is amazing so am in. The weaves flying,  the nails breaking.  Asses thundering on the ground!! A nice way to end a long day. I stood there for almost twenty minutes. then picked a convo with the stranger next to me.  Jeremy. Tall , dark and skinny. He loved the sound variation too, but thought the man who was the subject of the fight must have been the luckiest beast the previous night. I do not bother to probe his conclusion.  I pick the opposite side of the argument and we engage on how fights are embarrassing and non heroic. We are thirsty and its dark. The music at Seasons is getting louder. Had I mentioned it was a holy Thursday?  Jeremy can have a drink to end this day. I am the chosen company. I am in agreement. 680 casino for shots. Am already in the know for either a broke guy or a gambler. A smoker he may be too.

I love hard stuff!! I have what I love!! Small talk and the drinks wont stop coming. 9pm and we are to change spots. We are now a crowd. My two girls and his boy Jay (Am sure its Jacob) join; its going to be a young wild night. We walk out and I ask to go to the ATM. Its just round the corner. They all offer to wait. I go all the way round the building, back to the fighting arena. Switch off my phone and pick a cab; destination, home. Friday was going to be along day.

This is where age caught up with me………..

A lazy Friday afternoon; Valentines.

My boss is not in, there are so many things that flashed through my mind when she said she will not be in; eating roast maize with my legs on my desk, ordering lunch from mama Njeri (she is the lady who makes those matumbos I treat my self to every end month). Taking the boss’ tea and mandazis ; I hate waste. If I don’t eat those things, they will just be wasted.  Calling all my friends to pass by and we catch up in the big office……..all those not to mention working on the report I have been working on for the whole week. It’s demonic, this report. It gives me dizziness the minute I think about it. Let me not talk about it now.

I did none of the above. (Including the report kwisha!!) The office has ethics, I am well educated.  But it is Valentines, the mid month day that people behave like its not mid month yet we all know we dint save for this unnecessary holiday. Ok if its even a holiday in the first place.

I am among the people punishing their pockets in the name of love. I bought myself Mokimo and turkey meat. What better thing can a woman do to herself? Am not quite sure if it was turkey or quail meat. I have not consumed either before.  But it was a foreign taste and it was white meat. Am safe!!

 I already sent flowers to my love. I mean my 8-5pm marriage partner. She is not in as I had earlier mentioned.  Diseases know not holidays, how can one be unwell on Valentines? Ok am well, am happy. I totally do not know what do to with myself this afternoon. Partly because am not sure of how my stomach will react to the foreign white meat, and partly because I am not used to so much freedom. No files on my desk!! I am wearing a D&G designer ring on my left wedding finger. Like a lost wife, married with a wrong ring. That is how I look on this day of unnecessary love.

 Oh plus am I corporate wear and red shoes. The red shoes were not one bit intentional but having to explain that makes me feel guilty so Il let it pass. Am in red shoes on a lazy Friday afternoon that happens to be Valentines.

I am a P.A whose boss in not in.

I have decided what to do……..let me go and do it now.

One Day I will write

I wanted to write a journal from the day I saw the light of the world. I wanted to take a picture of the humans who were around me when I was done taking the agonizing journey into this world. Its a beautiful world, yet still very confusing. I hear it takes time to learn your way around it. Amazing how even the ones with whom we take the journey into life have still not mastered their way around this world. Its vast! It must be!! Even the place they put me to sleep was vast till I learnt how to crawl. Yes am crawling, and cruising too. Its a fantastic feel. The humans around me clap gladly when I attempt to stand so I rarely do it. Its intentional. I keep it for boring days, so that they can keep saying "awwwwww he brought us so much joy". Who does not like praises?! I adore the look on their faces.

I really wanted to write a journal to keep all those sweet memories of joining this amazing world. But I dint!! Joining the world is a busy affair, you literally make the world go round, and do it in so much pomp!!

If I had written a journal, Id have said how the person who brought me int this world was scared of my arrival, but I think it would have been a misjudgement, others were scared stupid!! I stared at them all afternoon as my world bringer took a well deserved nap!! That place where they take us from is really funny. I laughed the whole time, I forgot to even ingest a thing; the world delicacies. There are only two of those. the one who brings you into this world always carries them at the front. To observe them, so that when she sees me she looks at them, them me, them she makes me meet them with my lips. Those delicacies!! Enough said.

I have finally written a journal. Of a different caliber.This journal will not include all details about the humans around me and what they make me eat.

 I will write about my baby steps into greatness. I will write about how my life unfolds by the milestone.

I will write about a candle lit life..........